I haven’t written in a while. My apologies. The past few weeks, I’ve been feeling a little non-witchy, a little abnormal. This morning I seemed to have turned that corner. So I wrote this post as much for myself, as it is for you to read.
I live a magickal life. That’s magick with a K. If I lived a magical life, without the K, it would be like a Hallmark Christmas movie, and it’s certainly not. Like everyone else, I have troubles. I suffer more than I admit with depression and anxiety, and on a scale from 1 to 10 of where I thought I’d be in life now, I’m at about a 6. I’m not miserable on a logical basis, I just thought I would have achieved more, have more friends, and be, you know, normal. Am I normal? I’m not sure because…..
Because I am a witch. A witch! A Pagan! A Wiccan! I’m a strange mixture of hippie and goth. The hippie I get, but where in the hell did this goth stuff come from? I mean right now, I’m listening to the album, Chasing the Ghost by Collide. And I’m well over 50! What the hell? I believe in the God and the Goddess. I practice magick, I cast spells, and I believe in the power of magick. And I’m firmly entrenched in all this.
Admittedly, there are times I want to leave it all behind. You know, be normal! But then, when my mental dust settles I realize, this is my normal. No matter how I got here, or why I got here, this is my life. Every day, I am surrounded by essential oils, herbs, incense blends, dropper bottles by the dozen, gothic decor, altars, books, and the list goes on. The top two photos were the first two things I saw this morning. Even in the bathroom, I can’t escape my witchcraft trappings. It’s my normal.
There are times I’m really annoyed with some of my fellow witches. When I see people get on a Craft Facebook group, and ask if there is a spell to make them a vampire, or one to combat the dozens of evil forces around them, it drives me crazy. If you are constantly battling dozens of evil forces, you need to look inward.
But generally, most witches seem to have a decent grasp upon reality, which comforts me. Then again, the question as to what is reality presents itself. There are times that I come to the mental conclusion that the God and Goddess are archetypes, not actual beings. Logically that’s probably sound thinking I tell myself. However, when the chips are down, and I need to appeal to something larger than myself what do I do? I pray to the God and Goddess. So to me, they are real. And normal.
There are times that I think, “oh, this spell stuff is just silliness.” But again, when there is something I desire, or need to change, or happen, I’m at that altar doing a spell. A further benefit from knowing all this magickal information is the knowledge I’ve gained about herbs, essential oils, and how to use them for everyday situations. Personal care, first aid care, cooking, home care are ways I put this knowledge to use each and every day. That’s now my normal.
When you boil it all down, I’m not a lot different from a Christian who goes to church, and prays to his or her God, and uses prayer to ask God for things. That is their normal. I simply don’t choose to leave everything in the hands of the God and Goddess. I may appeal to them for some inspiration or guidance, but spells are my prayers. That’s my normal.
Am I normal in the eyes of those Christians? Probably not. But this is my normal, and I have to remind myself of it every day, and assure myself that it’s perfectly fine.