This morning I had to drag my butt out of bed, and I’m sitting here feeling unwell. Through whatever set of circumstances, Christmas, and the few days preceding it have become synonymous with a drinking fest. Apparently, I’ve fully embraced Saturnalia. But this is payback day. It’s the day I try spend recovering, and consider the option of rehab…
These are also the kind of days I look at my life and think about how I can improve it. Today’s epiphany is not a new one, rather one I’ve had several times, and failed to successfully act upon it. It’s a revelation that is difficult because it involves ego, and we all know how strong ones’ ego can be.
But this morning I had a discussion with my ego, and we came to an agreement. We decided that he was going to take a backseat to my true self, since he’s been driving the bus for over half a century. The ego has been suppressing some character traits for most of my life, and other interests that have developed along the way.
I’ve decided to lose myself in my spirituality. The days of witchcraft being second fiddle to other interests are ending. This is going to begin with all my social media accounts that disguise the fact that I’m a witch. My personal Facebook page will become dormant, and I will attend to my witchcraft page. My ego would have me come out as a witch, blazing with both wands to all my friends and family, but that really serves no purpose to me. Besides, I always feel so much more free to express myself without worry about how my friends and family will take it.
I plan to fully embrace my interests, no matter how strange they may appear to others. I enjoy aspects of a hippie, goth, barefoot, and bohemian lifestyle. That may be an odd mix to some, but I am ceasing to care. I’m crushing any male superiority aspect of my ego. Personally, I found Wicca appealing because it elevates the importance of women. Women give birth, they provide life and nurturing. Women should be worshiped as they were in ancient times.
Most importantly, I am ending any doubt in my mind about the validity of Wicca, witchcraft, Paganism, and the existence of deities. I’ve spent far too much time mentally challenging myself, only to find myself appealing to deity when the chips are down. It’s easy to question when you don’t have a need for the gods and goddesses, but you simply can’t have it both ways. Either they exist or they don’t. From this point forward they exist for me, no questions asked.
This is a total deconstruction of myself and my ego. The person I was yesterday will cease to exist. My remaining years on this planet will be devoted to my spiritual path, and to who I truly am, and what makes me truly happy. It may seem daunting to others, but I think it’s the only path to true joy.
My spiritual path has become the gateway to many of the things I’ve grown to cherish. It has opened my eyes to the hippie and goth within. It has given me the courage to forsake societal convention, and to live a simpler lifestyle without wanting what I don’t have. It’s time to give it my full attention.
Happy holidays & Blessed Be!