For the past several years, one of my promises to myself was to start meditating regularly. Unfortunately, I’ve failed miserably at that promise. This year started more promisingly, but not for the right reason.
I generally become depressed after the holidays. I try not to, but it seems to happen every year. This year, I thought I was lucky enough to avoid it, but a couple of days ago, boom, there it was. Yesterday was particularly bad, so today I decided to become proactive.
I decided to start meditating. I also started decided to start doing a daily ritual. I had fallen away from that, big time. To be honest, I had rather deconstructed my altar. I had removed my athame and pentacle, and moved the God and Goddess candles to the far edges of the table, rather than in their proper place. I hadn’t lit incense for some time.
Today, I reconstructed my altar, put back all the tools, and the candles. I used stick incense today, but have decided to go back to burning homemade loose incense when time permits. I did a short ritual, because I really wanted to get to the meditation. I chose a guided meditation for relaxation and stress relief to begin with. I followed that up with a guided meditation made especially for witches called Connecting With Your Goddess.
By the time I got to the Goddess meditation I was extremely open to it. By the time I was finished, I was in the same place I am after a long bike ride, a euphoric state. Relaxed, and damned surprised with the results of the Goddess meditation.
To be honest, I wasn’t really expecting the Goddess meditation to work. And if it did, I expected to see one of three Goddesses: Isis, Lilith or Hestia. For the first 6-7 years of my Wiccan practice, I was solidly in the ancient Egyptian pantheon. Isis was my go-to deity. I read countless books on the plethora of Egyptian deities. And I do mean plethora. By the 6th to 7th year, I had found my goth self, and the “darker” goddess Lilith played a central role in my spirituality for some time. For the past several years, Hestia, Greek chaste goddess of the hearth has appealed to me.
So I was mildly shocked to see the beautiful Aphrodite coming across the flower drenched field imagined in my meditation. Was the Greek goddess of love, beauty, and pleasure giving me some kind of message? Was it some kind of sign of balance, between the serenity of Hestia, and the voraciousness of Aphrodite? Was she telling me to love myself? Or does this signal a shift in goddess devotion? It could be all those, some of those, or none of them. But I will tell you that I’m going to be reading a lot about Aphrodite.
Did this miraculously cure my depression? No. But I am energized and excited about the idea of daily ritual and meditation. I’m bringing back a more concentrated Wiccan practice. I think my relaxed form of practice has led to some doubts. It’s easy to have doubts when you have spiritual downtime, so I’m going to remedy that. I also think that ritual combined with meditation will keep me grounded, and can only help to improve my mental health.
The Goddess meditation is featured below.
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