Posted in Energy/Vibrations, Paganism, witchcraft

Ecstatic Witchcraft

Back on December 2 of last year, I wrote a blog post entitled, Earthen Polytheistic Witchcraft.  In it, I mused about the fact that I had let several spring and summer months go by over the period of years, hibernating in the house, watching the world through our windows. Obviously the onset of winter had me realizing what I had been doing. I spoke about spending lots of time doing assorted witchcraft type of things instead of getting outside and experiencing the natural world.

I wrote about the concept of moving away from formal, rather antiseptic ritual, and adopting a more earthy, shamanistic, polytheistic approach to Paganism and witchcraft. This post came to mind recently, when I realized I was beginning to fall into the same behavior. We’ve had a few wonderful days outside, between monsoon rainy days, and I’ve spent them…yep, inside.

So I’m heading that behavior off at the pass. I began to do some research into shamanistic Paganism and witchcraft. I found two books that appear that they will be helpful finding my way.

The first book, Wild Earth Wild Soul: A Manual For An Ecstatic Cultureappears that it will be more of a Pagan related book, about breaking out of our domesticated lives and rediscovering the earth and our relationship with the land. The second book, Ecstatic Witchcraft,  brings witchcraft into the mix.

I just started reading Wild Earth today, as I ordered that as a Kindle Book. I think that book will serve best as a table setter to Ecstatic Witchcraft, which is being delivered tomorrow. Both books are rather well reviewed.

Obviously, I know about shamanism, and have read about it in the past. There was a period of time when I was looking into Celtic Reconstructionism, and its’ concept of Land, Sea, and Sky appealed to me so much that I have a section in my Book of Shadows devoted to Celtic Recon rituals.

I guess the appeal is getting my hands and feet dirty, not needing a lot of tools and spells, but being able to channel witchcraft through my relationship with the earth.

There is a part of me that feels like this may draw me back into a more natural Wiccan path, and yeah, probably will bring about the re-emergence of hippie me. Honestly, I’m not going to force it any particular way, rather I will let this guide me to where I should be.

Thanks for reading, and blessings to you.

Posted in Depression, Energy/Vibrations, Goth, witchcraft

Gothic Witch: Getting Real..

5899c095f774c4b387045440c7de16f8Yeah, the hippie Wiccan thing backfired. I completely went the other way. I simply found that trying to be all “blessed be” hippie was more of a public image than part of my internal make-up. Putting on one face for others, while harboring a darker mindset seemed crazy, considering I’m already doing that in real life, by concealing the fact that I am a witch to most who know me.

So why have I tried so diligently to project that persona? There are many reasons really. I’ve always put on a pleasant face to the public. My parents didn’t exactly teach me to do that, but their actions did, so I just seemed to follow in their footsteps. My father was a genuinely nice and caring person, so it came naturally to him. My mother had her demons, yet projected a polite persona. I inherited a few of  my mother’s demons, which I hate to admit, but indeed, I must.

I’m always shocked by people who air their displeasure with situations in public. I have family members who seemingly have no reservations letting everyone know they are unhappy with something or someone, even to the point of making everyone in the room uncomfortable. It seems their feelings trump everyone else’s feelings. I can’t imagine doing that.

To a fault, I’ve been a people pleaser. I try to make everyone comfortable and happy, often to the detriment of my own health and happiness. I’ve written about the fact that I believe I’ve experienced illnesses after the December holidays because I spent so much of my personal energy making sure everyone was having a good holiday. By January, I was so energy depleted that my immune system was compromised, and I spent a month or more paying the price.

Truthfully, and I will write more about this in the future, I discovered psychic vampirism back in 2007, when I began exploring my gothic tendencies. I had an immune system breakdown, which landed me in a rheumatologist’s office. I credit both his advice and medication and Michelle Belanger’s book, The Psychic Vampire Codex: A Manual of Magick and Energy Work for my recovery.

I continue to occasionally suffer from immune system problems. I can point directly to stress as the main trigger for the onset of the disease. Often, it happens when I’ve put myself out there for others, while forsaking my own physical and psychological needs.

I’m straying from my intended post here a bit. What I’m trying to say is that it’s time to embody and project my true self, especially in my online witchcraft writings, in which I try to be brutally honest. If I can’t be honest in a relatively anonymous forum, when can I be?

I have days when I’m a real hippie. I dress like a hippie. But most of the time, my mind, my interests, and my actions point to goth. A gothic outlook. It is ultimately what keeps me sane and healthy. This mindset takes me in a different direction from Wicca.

There’s no definitive conclusion here. I simply felt that I owed you, the reader, the truth. I know it flies in the face of my “Hippie Wicca!” post.  But you might have noticed that I’ve not written (except for the horror movie post) since I wrote the Hippie Wicca entry. I started half a dozen posts, along the hippie witch lines, but they just fizzled out after 300 or 400 words. Those drafts just felt forced. Conversely, this entry just flew out my fingertips. That alone speaks volumes.

More later.

Blessings!

Posted in Depression, Energy/Vibrations, witchcraft

Raising Vibrations, Witchcraft, Serenity

It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly. 

Things, people, or conditions that you thought you needed for your happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them – while they last. 

All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. 

Life flows with ease. 

~Eckhart Tolle

There is about a million ways to interpret that quote. I think it has to do with your expectations, and depending on circumstances to be just as you want them to be. It’s about letting go of those expectations, not counting on them, and finding happiness with what comes. And perhaps those things will come to you easier than you ever imagined. Yet, one has to realize that these things come and go, there is some sort of cycle, but if you have no concrete expectations, you will not feel sadness when these things go away, and you will not live in fear of them disappearing while you have them.

I’ve been noticing that much of my interest, and what I read about these days, is energy. The philosophy of life, of how energy, my own feelings, my own vibrations and frequency affects my life.

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time over the years trying to define my Pagan and witchcraft path. Gothic/hippie/light/dark/Wiccan/just a witch/chaos practitioner, and on an on. That’s a whole lot of energy wasted. Worse yet, it doesn’t really matter. How I practice, how you practice, how the “experts” tell you to practice, it’s all a matter of personal preference. Every witchcraft author has their own spin. There are more offshoots of witchcraft than you can count.

At this point, I’m not sure what I am. The other night, with my arthritis flaring like mad, I asked the God and Goddess to help me out. I had a small (think tiny), informal ritual, said some blessings, and gave my thanks to them. This is not how I normally think. Witches do spells, they don’t count on the deities for help, they don’t really pray, they do magick. But I didn’t have the energy to do any magick, so I tried asking. Yesterday, things had improved. Did the deities do that? Was it simply mind over matter? Did I raise my vibrations by thinking positive? I can’t tell you. I just know that it worked to a degree.

From this point on, I’m just going to call myself a Pagan and a witch. That is enough definition. I am going to explore energy vibrations, frequencies, and how it affects me. I’m probably going to step foot in New Age territory a bit, or even a lot, and I know that just disgusts some witches.

But here’s the thing. So far, in thirteen years, I haven’t found serenity. I’ve found a spiritual practice I’ve enjoyed at times, but I’ve also had plenty of Dark Nights of the Soul. A lot of that had to do with how I took criticism of others, based on their writings. I’ve eye rolled new witches who wanted to know if there was a spell to turn them into a vampire. I’ve wasted so much energy on stuff that was so far out in left field.

Some may say that the quest upon which I’m embarking may qualify for a bit of craziness. Maybe, but it seems to be working for a lot of people. If it is just mental, that’s fine, because if I can find serenity though energy workings, so be it.

There is a lot of upheaval in the world right now. U.S. politics scare the shit out of me. I’ve wasted a lot of energy on worrying about that too. So, it seems to be a really good time to work on centering myself, and rising above all the crap.

The bottom line is that while I enjoy being a witch, it has not given me the strength I had hoped it might, and I am going to explore further to see if I can find some help.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think, or if you have any reference suggestions on the topics I’ve discussed here.

Blessed Be!