Recently, I was thinking back on how my life fell completely apart when I first got divorced. Everything collapsed, my job, my social life, my friendships, my living arraignments, my self esteem. What I gained from my divorce was depression, anxiety, regret, loneliness, and aimlessness. Eventually I recovered, but never fully regaining what I had lost, or losing some of the regrettable things I gained.
I bring this up, because I began thinking what might had been different if I had been a practicing Pagan and Wiccan at the time. My guess is that if I had, I might not have gotten divorced in the first place. But if I had, I think that being a Wiccan would have softened the blow, and would have given me an entire internal support system on which to lean.
Note that I specifically used the word “Wiccan” rather than “witch.” While I fully believe you can practice witchcraft without being a Wiccan, or any religious affiliation, for me, it’s important to have Gods, Goddesses, and the reverence I have toward them. I can’t say I’ve never questioned that, because I certainly have. But it has become increasingly clear that I need to have the God and Goddess in my heart.
There have been times when I’ve thought about just practicing witchcraft rather than having the religious aspects of Wicca. But then I go out for a ride on my bike, or a walk, and I spot a squirrel or some other animal that had died in the roadway. It never, ever fails that my first thoughts are A) a real sadness and B) a comfort that the soul of that animal has made its’ way to the Summerland, to rest before its’ next destination. That is the workings of my Wiccan mind and soul, plain and simple.
I’ve written about this before, but what has also become crystal clear to me is that I have to embody Wicca every moment of my life. It is as much a part of me as breathing. It is not a part of my soul, rather, I have a Wiccan soul. Most everything I do, every decision, every action is shaped by my beliefs in Wicca and in magick. That’s why I couldn’t be a person who turns to magick only when needed.
I’ll be honest, as I get older, the religion of Wicca becomes more and more comforting. That Summerland belief becomes a great comfort. We all know what technically happens when we die, but having faith in the concept of a place for one’s soul to go, rest, and then be dispersed back into the world is damned comforting. It’s a different concept than heaven, where people think you just keep living as yourself, simply on a different plane.
Moving away from death (please, let’s do!), and back to my original premise, I believe if, when I got divorced, I had the belief system I have now, it would have led me to a more promising transition and future. I believe I could have used the tools of magick, and perhaps leaned on the God and Goddess for strength and comfort. Back then, my soul didn’t encompass my birth religion the way it now does Wicca, and that’s why I believe the process would have been more favorable to me.
Thinking about all this, it proves to me that Wicca is not something you turn to, or something you think about occasionally, it should be the destination for your soul. It’s not every witch’s cup of tea, and that’s why there are other magickal paths. However, for those who are heartened and strengthened by having a spiritual/religious belief system, it’s a path worth pursuing.